As someone who wanted to end my life, I want to help others who may find themselves in the same situation to see what it has been like for others who have lost a loved one to suicide and what life is like for them afterwards. I wanted to end my own life while in the Army. It is only by the grace of God I didn’t do it. One thing that kept me from doing it was, I didn’t want my family to be told a bunch of lies. If I was dead, I couldn’t speak for myself. Quite a few years ago I meant someone who started an organization to help people who lost someone to suicide. It was eye opening to see things from their point of view. Their struggles. How some end up developing PTSD, severe anxiety among other mental health issues.
Silent Grief: Living in the Wake of Suicide; by Christopher Lukas and Henry Seiden. They talk about what it’s like to live in the wake of suicide and the struggle to make sense of it. They try and help survivors respond to their situation instead of being a passive victim.
The Suicidal Mind by Dr Edwin Shneidman. It shares insights from those who have thought of suicide and those who lost someone. He offers suggestions on how to counteract it.
Someone I loved Died by Suicide; a story for child survivors and those who care for them. Help them with the grieving process. To identify the various ways to intervention. Tp provide healthy ways of coping with the death of the loved one.
The following is from ChoosingTherapy.com
What Are the Warning Signs of Suicide?
The warning signs of suicide are not black and white. At times, warning signs of mental illness can be a person displaying or expressing distress, However, a person who has come to a place of acceptance that they will follow through on a suicide plan will appear to be doing well or even better than before.
The phenomenon of a person appearing ok right before they decide to follow through with their suicide plan is due to the level of comfort a person who has been suffering finds in knowing they have made the decision. This is why it is so important to be on the lookout for all types of changes in behavior, mood changes, and concerning statements.
Concerning Statements
Concerning statements are verbal expressions of suicidal ideation. These statements may be clear, such as “I want to die”, or more unclear, such as “I can’t do this anymore”. The nature of these types of states is pointing to an overall dissatisfaction with life. Therefore, any sentiments that touch on life feeling “overwhelming” or that a person is dealing with “too much” is a marker for needing support.
Additionally, there are statements related to how a person feels about themselves. These statements are often associated with feelings of self-loathing. A person will feel that they are a burden to the people in their lives. They may remark, “Everyone would be better off without me”.
Concerning statements someone who is considering suicide might make include:
- “I wish I were dead”
- “I wish I hadn’t been born”
- “I’m so tired of everything”
- “This is too much for me”
- “It would be easier if I wasn’t here”
- “I wish I wouldn’t wake up sometimes”
- “Everyone would be happier if I was gone”
- “This won’t matter much longer anyway”
- “They won’t miss me when I’m gone”
Mood Changes
Notable changes in mood are, at times, the most recognizable signs of suicide. These mood changes can vary and range from person to person. The mood change most associated with suicide is depression. Depression can show up in many different ways. From expressions of sadness to a person seemingly being lost in thought or in themselves. Similarly, intense emotions are generally evidence that risk is afoot. These emotions are ones of feeling overwhelmed, agitated, anxious, and even fearful.
Another mood change of which to remain cognizant is mood swings. These are drastic and often intense changes in mood in a short period. These mood changes often come seemingly out of nowhere. A person may appear happy one moment, angry or irritable the next, and/or depressed. As mentioned before, someone seeming depressed and then suddenly seemingly “okay” or better may point to the acceptance of follow through on suicidal behavior.
Mood changes someone who is considering suicide may experience include:
- Hopelessness
- Helplessness
- Feeling trapped
- Uncontrollable worry
- Anxiousness
- Overwhelming fear
- Shame
- Excessive guilt
- Worthlessness
- Self-loathing
Troubling Behaviors
Behaviors can be the clearest and notable when working with persons potentially struggling with suicidality. Troubling or distressing behaviors for which someone considering suicide may engage vary depending on the underlying concerns surrounding suicidality.
For example, a person struggling with substance use disorder may have lost their job, their home, and their family due to their addiction. Therefore, they could feel a want to end their life because of the hold addiction has had over them. Thus, increased substance use and intoxication are clear warning signs. It is the escalation of behaviors that can be most telling.
Troubling behaviors someone who is considering suicide may engage in include:
- Increased use of substances and/or alcohol
- Withdrawing and isolating from friends and family
- Giving away important items
- Appearing to put one’s affairs in order
- Researching ways to end one’s life
- Obtaining the means to take their own life
- Risk-taking, such as driving a car erratically
- Displaying extreme mood swings
- Saying goodbye to loved ones
- A complete change displayed in mood, such as appearing content
